Five chibi dragons, green, orange, blue, red, and purple, hanging out together, creating a visual pyramid in their positions, each representing the KDE Project mascot.


I recall this example from the book “The 10X Rule,” which might actually be called “The 10× Rule” except for the world collectively deciding that an uppercase “X” is a better representation for scale than a symbol that was designed for that purpose, where there was a conversation between a client and the author which went like this:

“Isn’t Sunday a day of rest?”

“Dick Pussyfart you degenerate shit–stain on the jizz–encrusted panties of of a triple–cunted whore, your bitch ass better get up and get the fuck to work before I come over there and knock your teeth in with a Bad Dragon horse cock, because the LORD decreed that Sunday was a day of rest, and the LORD decreed that fuckbois like you, who don’t work for SHIT the other six days, are taking the LORD for granted, and better get the FUCK UP before you come at me that day–of–rest horseshit.”

Or something like that.

Fans of Froghand would already know this due to my old–but–gold the “The 10X Rule Review” review. Trigger warnings for bad typography, unimaginative font choice, non–standards–compliant HTML, a dog being boiled alive by Cambodian farmers, and Boston Pizza. Fourty fucking dollars for a large pizza? I’ll crash a funeral before I pay that much!

Anyway, I bet you thought I was done with the whole “colourful” meme I subjected you to the last five–day–work–week… nope! I sure gotcha, you dumb shit! Yeah, take that lying down, as I kick myself in the teeth for choosing to update on what is technically known as “no longer Sunday,” as I decide which one of Tyson Tan’s works I decide to fuck up today.

Should I do the really hard–to–hack one and pull a similar jape to what I did with Magic Stylus? Or should I do the really easy–to–hack one and go the heck to bed in hopes of coming up with that million–dollar idea? Hmm…

Deciding, deciding, quick knock–off for some rear–view nudity, deciding, and you already saw the picture above so all of this is just filler. Unless you’re blind. Or on Lynx. If you’ve suffered either of those fates, please tell me ways to make my website more accessible. And be sure to thank Katawa Shoujo for making me give a shit about you.

The original image happened to be a very reasonable six point three fucking megabytes, because we live in the hypothetical future world where everybody has time for all that nonsense. The KDE project is optimistically predicting that “soon we’ll only publish images,” but so long as there’s some lonely scientist in Antarctica to pop a squat, there will always be room for erotic fanfiction. Incidentally, I’d like to know the freezing point of human semen. For science.

The idea that the KDE project cares about the way its sites and programs work is in such stark contrast to the mindset of most developers, which is to dump a program from ninety–ninety–fuck onto your hard drive with a readme that amounts to “figure it out, dipshit” (shout–outs to Higan, which doesn’t have any documentation at all and is therefore used as often as a box of condoms in a monastery), is a good idea. A very good idea. A very charming idea, even, because for developers to commission a scalie as their mascot is unheard of these days. Part of why I founded The Degenerates OH SHIT HE’S PLUGGING IT AGAIN.

Like, look at this update. “This release contains only bugfixes and translation updates, providing a safe and pleasant update for everyone.” When do you ever see a developer show courtesy like that? It may be blatant lies, as every update sets someone’s hair on fire, but they’re pleasant lies.

I’ve never used any KDE programs, because Plasma 4 looks only slightly more pleasant to use than Netscape Navigator and running KDE programs on GNOME is like showing up to the horse races only to find your bet was replaced by a fat man in a mask. At least things got better in Plasma 5, where everything looks like Windows 10 and Ubuntu had hate sex and apathetically went to the hospital nine months later. Or maybe it got worse. Only you can decide…

(note to future self: sorry for using the words “hate sex.” please don’t feel ashamed of me)

If I could honour them in a better way than by simply compressing the image down, doing hardly any work on it at all, I would. But enough of this balderdash. Today is a day of rest! And by today I mean yesterday. And by rest I mean rear–view nudity.

Date: 2017–03–12. Size: 6,776 bytes. Colours: 128.

Upscaled Dimensions: 339×564. Original Dimensions: 113×188.